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So I have these few haters in school
Ok, lets start~~~
1st of all, I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THE HELL THEY ARE
until my sister told me...
I NEVER KNEW THEM
I DONT RECOGNISE THEM
I DONT KNOW THEIR NAMES
And you wanna why they hate me?
Bcus i'm close with one of my juniors
and also bcus i'm close with my sister...
._. srsly, what?
exactly what??!!
I really dont understand..
Like you hate me because I am close with my juniors and sister?
What kind of a retarded reason is that??!!
And then, they dont know how to bash me
so they say that I'm clingy
and also they say that I have no points when I went for debate
Okok
1st of all, honestly, it is up to my juniors and sister
to decided whom they choose to be close with..
Who in the world told you that you can decided it for them?
2nd, I am not clingy.
That is just stupid to say that I'm clingy
exactly like when was I ever clingy?
3rd, you say I have no points when I went for debate competition
Ok, my script was written by my teacher
aand the whole entire debate team brainstormed to find points for our debate
You say that I have no points for my debate
so indirectly, are you trying to say that my teacher failed at writing my script?
and are you trying to say that the whole debate team was so stupid that we cannot points for debate?
And here is the worst part, people actually tell me that you can't even speak fluent english
Ok, since you say I have no points for debate,
why dont you go and join the debate team
then go to the debate competition for once?
PROVE TO ME THAT YOU ARE BETTER!
Seriously,
you guys are like 6 years old
what an immature reason to hate me
I have not even done anything to you
I did not know you at all before this
And suddenly someone just tell me that you guys hate me
for being close to my juniors and my sister..
._.
Let''s all give a moment of silence to these haters
:) Smile, even at your worst time.....
Smile, even though you know tomorrow is not gonna be a good day....
Smile, even when the world knocks you down...
Smile, even though you are crying a river inside....
Smile, just smile....
God only give challenges to those who are strong enough to go through it...
:) So smile, look at how strong you are...
You've been through so much of tough times
Sometimes you just feel like giving up
But you didn't, you continue
Sometimes you just feel like ending your life
But you didn't, you continue
And now look,
here you are today,
standing stronger than who you used to be
Smile, :) you did it
Even though there are gonna be more tough challenges for you in the future
Just smile
Even though you feel you are not strong enough
Just smile
Because God knows that you are strong
Well recently our English teacher ask us to write an essay about our favourite place.
I wrote about something.
It's not real.
I don't really have a favourite place.
It was more like a place I dream that it exist.
I didn't really did a good job writing it because my ideas was so not organized
and I just end up decided to crap my way through.
XD and now I feel so not satisfied not being able to express myself well.
I'm going to write it here then but this is gonna be a more informal kind.
My favourite place or dream place I should say is a café.
It's a two-storey café and it's near my place.
Maybe around 5 minutes walking distance.
The café would be able to create a very relaxing atmosphere for the customer.
You know, after a long day of work
you can just come here and relax plus have a cup of coffee.
The café would play like a relaxing piano music.
And maybe not so bumpy and busy.
Like as in very noisy like when you go to hawker stalls.
It would be more like a place where it's just a place for you to enjoy your cup of coffee.
It's quiet enough that you can hear the barista brewing the coffee
the music
but
not too quiet until it feels like a library.
It would be decorated in like an elegant country mixed with modern style interior design.
They have the exposed bricks elements
and maybe with pastel colour furnitures.
Whenever I feel like it, I can just go up to the 2nd floor.
I would sit at the balcony and just enjoy the night city view.
Sometimes I can sit at the 1st floor and just look at the barista brewing the coffee.
Apparently, I really like to think things way too deep.
So even looking at barista brewing coffee can amaze me
Because it takes like so many steps to prepare a cup of coffee
plus the coffee art that they would do
which takes a lot of training to get it done right.
The café would also have a "Wish Tree"
for the customers to write their wishes and hang it on the tree.
But for me, I would write down my problems
and hang it on the tree
as a symbol
to show that it's over and it has past
I must move on.
Besides the interior designs
It would also be nice if the café rotates the food menu everyday in a week
Like maybe on Monday you have apple pie
then on Tuesday you have chicken pie or something like that
then the next Monday, you have apple pie again.
and maybe on Sundays they can do like a chef's special.
(Do not judge me, this is my "dream" place)
Then the café would have a small section
where they keep the books and stuff.
For the customer to read.
Or maybe they can put like arts and crafts there
so that people who likes arts and crafts can
do something and just leave it there
as a decoration for them.
Whenever I go there, I can feel very relax
and I can escape from the stress of the world.
If this place really exist, it would definitely be my favourite place.
Too bad, I can't find a café like this so it remains in my dream.
But one day, if I have enough money, I would definitely open a café just like this.
:) Maybe not everyone will enjoy it the way I do
But I would really love to spread the feeling of relax to my customers.
Hey you reading this right now, if you have a favourite place
or perhaps a dream place,
tell me about it.
I would really love to know about how a place can actually make you feel so calm
and you just really love it.
It's been quite a while since I write in this blog
LOL!!
I think I just wrote like few days ago..
Today, I'm gonna write about something that has been bothering me.
Loneliness.
People keep telling me I have good qualities.
I can talk in a lot of languages.
I can cook.
I can bake.
I can sing.
I'm good in academic wise.
I have the looks. (but actually I'm ugly)
I can draw.
I'm good in origami.
I'm good in music, which is playing the piano.
I'm kind. (NOPE! I'm the Queen, I ain't kind)
Despite having all these so called "good"qualities
I don't even know what are those even for.
I mean like why are those called "good"qualities.
Ok, people tell me these because I told them
that I felt unappreciated and unwanted.
Then they told me,
"Of course you are appreciated,
look at all the good qualities you have"
Like exactly how does this make sense?
Just because I can cook that means people are gonna appreciate me?
NO!
Just because I can play the piano, is that gonna make people appreciate me or love me or at least make me feel wanted?
NO!
I still feel lonely, unappreciated and unwanted.
You can't even answer me why you feel that I'm needed in you life.
You gave me like totally irrelevant answer.
Like why would "good qualities" be related to how people treat me or make me feel?
I mean like I can have all the "good" qualities
and people are still gonna treat me like rubbish if that want to.
In the end, I still feel unwanted.
I still get the feeling of I'm nothing but a piece of paper that people can just throw away.
And it's not that I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.
It's just that that's the feeling that I get.
I have atelophobia.
Fear of imperfection.
Fear of being not good enough.
I fear that when I'm not good enough, people will leave me.
Which is why I have autophobia too.
Fear of alone.
Fear of unwanted.
I want everything to be neat and clean.
I want everything to be in its perfect place.
Even a simple thing like hanging the clothes, I want it to be perfect.
I know being perfect in everything is impossible.
But I try as much as I can to do everything perfectly.
But it's different when it comes to working with people.
I'm the type who gives all or nothing.
I don't like it when people know of my fears and they leave everything
in a mess
dirty
not organized
I also don't like it when people abuse my characteristic of being a perfectionist.
They want their work done perfectly so they throw everything at me.
I want to say no.
But I fear being alone.
I fear that if I say no, they will leave me.
Having these phobias is really torturing me!
Not only does it ruined my mood when things are not done perfectly,
People also tend to use me because of my phobias.
. . .
Slowly I'll be nothing,
but just a mere play toy.
. . .