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Everybody cares when it's too late
Everyone hug me and cry for me when I want to stab myself
Everyone wants me to live when I want to jump down the building
And yet. . .
When I was alive, everyone is too busy with themselves
Everyone is always trying to find faults in me
Everyone is always wanting me to beg for their forgiveness
Everyone is always stepping on my head
Everyone sees me as a misfit
Everyone gives me the feeling of "You don't belong with us"
No one ever forgives me sincerely
Because everyone wants me to beg for it
No one ever sees me for me
Because everyone say my passion and interest is weird
No one showed me genuine feeling
No one showed that they really really care for me
Everyone looks like they want me out of their life
But. . .
When I want to leave, when I want to end my life
They stop me.
I don't get it.
When I was always by everyone's side, no one showed they care.
When I want to die, everyone stops me.
Is it deep down that everyone care?
or...
Is it just that they need me for their own good?
To make me feel like a complete fool of myself?
You people don't know how many tears I shed at night.
You people don't know how much I care about all of you.
There are times where you people make mistake
And sometimes, I really want to kill you
But I didn't
There are times where you people step on me
I really wanted to just shout at you
But I didn't
There are times where you people hurt me so bad
I wanted to do the same to you
But I didn't
I didn't
Because I learnt to forgive people
I learnt that the hard way.
All I wanted was just someone
Not everyone
But someone to show me the same affection
That I show to everyone
To at least make me feel that
I am actually needed in someone's life
But I know
That would never happen
Because
That person would never exist
I'm already very aware of how people react towards me
And yet
I was still hoping for that "someone"
To appear. . .
Someday. . .