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I have atelophobia.
Fear of imperfection.
Fear of being not good enough.
I fear that when I'm not good enough, people will leave me.
Which is why I have autophobia too.
Fear of alone.
Fear of unwanted.
I want everything to be neat and clean.
I want everything to be in its perfect place.
Even a simple thing like hanging the clothes, I want it to be perfect.
I know being perfect in everything is impossible.
But I try as much as I can to do everything perfectly.
But it's different when it comes to working with people.
I'm the type who gives all or nothing.
I don't like it when people know of my fears and they leave everything
in a mess
dirty
not organized
I also don't like it when people abuse my characteristic of being a perfectionist.
They want their work done perfectly so they throw everything at me.
I want to say no.
But I fear being alone.
I fear that if I say no, they will leave me.
Having these phobias is really torturing me!
Not only does it ruined my mood when things are not done perfectly,
People also tend to use me because of my phobias.
. . .
Slowly I'll be nothing,
but just a mere play toy.
. . .