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It's been quite a while since I write in this blog
LOL!!
I think I just wrote like few days ago..
Today, I'm gonna write about something that has been bothering me.
Loneliness.
People keep telling me I have good qualities.
I can talk in a lot of languages.
I can cook.
I can bake.
I can sing.
I'm good in academic wise.
I have the looks. (but actually I'm ugly)
I can draw.
I'm good in origami.
I'm good in music, which is playing the piano.
I'm kind. (NOPE! I'm the Queen, I ain't kind)
Despite having all these so called "good"qualities
I don't even know what are those even for.
I mean like why are those called "good"qualities.
Ok, people tell me these because I told them
that I felt unappreciated and unwanted.
Then they told me,
"Of course you are appreciated,
look at all the good qualities you have"
Like exactly how does this make sense?
Just because I can cook that means people are gonna appreciate me?
NO!
Just because I can play the piano, is that gonna make people appreciate me or love me or at least make me feel wanted?
NO!
I still feel lonely, unappreciated and unwanted.
You can't even answer me why you feel that I'm needed in you life.
You gave me like totally irrelevant answer.
Like why would "good qualities" be related to how people treat me or make me feel?
I mean like I can have all the "good" qualities
and people are still gonna treat me like rubbish if that want to.
In the end, I still feel unwanted.
I still get the feeling of I'm nothing but a piece of paper that people can just throw away.
And it's not that I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill.
It's just that that's the feeling that I get.